


Three's company

by volatilePasifist



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: F/M, Howw do I tags, M/M, OT3, Plot What Plot, Prospitcest, Terrible writing, Threesome - F/M/M, genetic material, johnkat - Freeform, staining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-20
Updated: 2013-05-20
Packaged: 2017-12-12 10:25:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/810507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/volatilePasifist/pseuds/volatilePasifist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Come on Karkat! You know you want to.” And then they both gave you that innocent batting of the eyelashes that a wriggler would give to its lusii to get out of trouble, to play innocent. Even though what they were asking you to do was far from innocent.<br/>You groan and utter that one little word, “Fine.” And it begins.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three's company

**Author's Note:**

> Alternately called: In Which John And Jade Act As Buckets In A Terrible Plotless Porn Fic.  
> I warn you, this sucks. I had to write it pretty fast and not enough thought went into it.  
> Humanstuck is stupid.

You moan softly into Jade’s mouth, working her chest through her shirt and the thing that human females wore to hold the beautiful globes of fat that were oh-so-sensitive to touch. You loved them, even if you could never remember the name for the holder.

You Matesprit giggles above you, rubbing circles on your hips. You purr for her, because you know how much she loves it, and you do feel good. You cherished this part of your relationship, and you could even drop the angry façade. 

Clothing starts to come off, first your shirts, then your pants. You’re going for hers when the door bangs open.

“Hey guys have you seen Casey anywh-“ John stops in the doorway, taking in his sister kneeling over you. His mouth falls open, the snaps shut, the opens again, like a surprised sea dweller. You and Jade exchange a look, and then strangest of all, he starts laughing.

“John, what the hell are you laughing at?!” you screech, getting up and stalking over to him, glaring. He just keeps laughing, trying to say your name in between giggles. You’re tempted to slap him, but when Jade comes up behind you and starts papping you, and then you calm down. John does too.

“What did you want then, John?” Jade asks, her usually, happy self. She doesn’t even sound out of breath, like she should sound if you were moments from pailing. You glare at John as they talk, only clinging to Jade slightly. You really just wanted to get back to it.

“…So you guys are dating now?” You snap back to reality at John’s question. That nooksniffer had the nerve to ask that?! You’re about to tell him off, but Jade shooshes you.

“Yeah! For a while now. So I didn’t tell you sooner John.” Jade frowns slightly, but John just beams. 

“That’s okay! I’m glad I know now. Even if I did have to walk in on sloppy make outs to find out.” They both giggle again before lapsing into silence, though it’s more of a stare down, so much that it seems like they’re communication without speaking. Actually, it’s really fucking annoying.

“How about you bulge munchers let me in on the conversation here?” you growl at them, but they just laugh at you. Come on, you cannot be this amusing.

“I swear to god I have a sickle with each of your names on it if you don’t SHUT THE HELL UP.” They both sober up a bit now, looking sheepish. You smirk, content, motioning for Jade to get rid of her brother, but he speaks up before she can.

“I, uh, should probably get going. Rose says that Casey is at her house. You guys can go back to what you were doing.” But as he’s about you leave, Jade grabs his wrists, a devious gleam in her eye. Oh no. what the hell was she doing?

“John, how about you join us? I’m sure Rose wouldn’t mind having Casey over for an hour or two longer.” By the time what she says sinks in, John is grinning, and closing the door. Jade lets go of you both to lock the door, like she should have done the first time. 

You glare hotly at the pair as the walk towards you, herding you to the bed. You growl. “No. Fuck no. I am not pailing with my Matesprit and someone who isn’t even in my quadrants. And don’t you humans have some weird as fuck rule about pailing with your relations?” You cross your arms over your chest, frowning. Not that you’d really object. You just preferred to have Jade to yourself.

“Pretty please?” Jade whines, giving you her best barkbeast eyes. You look towards john, only to get the same look. No! They will not break you.

“Come on Karkat! You know you want to.” And then they both gave you that innocent batting of the eyelashes that a wriggler would give to its lusii to get out of trouble, to play innocent. Even though what they were asking you to do was far from innocent. 

You groan and utter that one little word, “Fine.” And it begins.

They come at you, almost as if they are predators and you’re their prey, and push you back onto the bed. They reach come at you from a side, rubbing your body gently, and you can’t help but sigh softly, resigning. Okay, this probably wouldn’t be too damned bad.

Jade crawls up to kiss your lips, a soft and chaste kiss, before she goes down to your neck, biting roughly, marking your skin. You bite your lips to suppress a moan, but it’s in vain, because suddenly, there’s something poking into your soaking nook and-

Holy shit. John’s fingers. Why didn’t you pay more-

You arch your back, thrusting your hips into his hand as he fingers your virgin nook. He snorts in surprise, but just continues that lovely sensation, the heat building in your abdomen. You’re also pretty sure you’re ruining their sheets.

Thankfully he stops before you release your genetic material, a dorky grin on his face as he examines his bright red fingers.

“Wow Karkat! I wonder if you taste good too…?” he licks his fingers, never taking his eyes off you. You can’t help but look away. That was such a taboo…

“Yum, it tastes like cherries! I bet it’s even better straight from the source.” You gasp as his tongue enters your nook, your head lolling to the side. He licks and slurps, catching a lot of your genetic material on his tongue. You shiver, rolling your head to the other side. There, Jade is playing with herself, staring at you with lust-clouded eyes.

When you get close again, as much as you want release, you push John away. He frowns, but licks around his stained lips, ever grinning.  
“Hey sis. You should taste Karkat.” He says, crawling towards her. She smiles, and leans in, catching his lips for a kiss, and almost devouring his mouth. Your hand drifts down to your now unsheathed bulge instinctively, caressing it. 

They break the kiss all too soon, but then they focus their attention back to you. Jade lies on her back and pulls you on top of her, wrapping an arm around your middle so you can’t move. With her other hand, she reaches down between you and touches your tentabulge lightly, smearing genetic material on herself. You bulge wriggles around, searching for something to cling to. Your Matesprit smirks up at you, before guiding you into her. She moans and throws her head back as it slithers all the way in, filling her. She shakes beneath you, thrusting her hips, but it doesn’t do her any good, and you can’t help but smirk at this, before the pleasure starts to consume you again.

“Mind if I join?” Suddenly John’s hot breath is beside you ear, and a different heat by your nook. For the third time, a part of John enters you. A moan rips out of your throat. This was a different sensation, completely new, and rawer than you had ever experienced. You start thrusting back against John desperately, your bulge sliding in and out of Jade as well. Soon they’re both moaning, and they sound so similar. 

Jade pulls you down, flush with her, and you let her. Her nails dig into your back, and her teeth into your shoulders. You groan, shivering. Humans could mix black and red together so beautifully without it seeming unnatural.

“Jade, where’s our bucket?” You breathe into her ear as John thrusts into you, so fast. She shakes her head, biting her lip. Then suddenly, she tenses up, tightening around your bulge. You shudder, orgasming too, and spilling your genetic material inside of her. John does the same inside your nook, collapsing on top of you.

You’re all breathing hard, as you finally go dry. You’re sore and tingly all over, and sitting in a pool of red. God fucking damn it, this is why you use buckets. But you can’t get angry now, you’re too damned happy.

Jade pecks your lips, smiling up at you with tired eyes. “See, that was fun, huh Karkat?”  
You roll your eyes, but smile and kiss her back. John rolls off of both of you, sighing. You glance over at him, and he grins at you.

“Thanks for the invite Jade.” He mumbles, and they share a human fist bump. In the back of your sleepy thinkpan, you realize you should be annoyed but this, but you’re asleep in seconds.

**Author's Note:**

> I really need to learn how to code this shit.  
> Thanks for reading, have a cookie.


End file.
